Something’s been bothering me lately. It seems the more I do what I’ve heard I’m supposed to do as a Christian the more I feel like I’m striving to be the kind of person I think I’m supposed to be and it’s making me inauthentic and miserable. Here are some of the things I do as an obedient Christian.
1. Get up and read the bible the first thing in the morning.
2. Attend church every Sunday
3. Love all you sisters and brothers in Christ.
4. Memorize verses.
5. Forgive all the people who have harmed you.
Of course, all these suggestions are in the will of God and often can make you feel better when you do them, but what happens when you’re all tapped out of energy, resources, time and love? How do you love your sisters and brothers when you aren’t loving yourself? How do you give resources when you’re lacking yourself?
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. Ephesians 3:17
I’m going to make a suggestion–maybe all this stiff obedience really isn’t what obedience is supposed to be about. If we’re supposed to be free and learn to live in the joy of the Lord, it’s time to learn to be that promise.
Maybe when you sit with him tomorrow morning instead of dutifully reading that bible verse you have on your check off list, he’ll tell you to sing a worship song. Perhaps tomorrow, in place of trying to forgive that person you’ve been working on forgiving you can first learn to forgive yourself.
I think from now on the only thing I’m going to strive for is to intend to be authentically who I was created to be.